Wednesday, November 26, 2008


Dad: My pervert days are over...gone.

Thursday, November 13, 2008


Dad: You know, when I was 12 me and this other guy made up our own alphabet so we could pass notes in class.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Cat noise.

In reference to Jack the Cat (JTC) making too much noise...

Dad: Anyway...I bitch, I complain...that's how I am.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Huey Lewis, #1 Fan.

Last night over Chinese food my dad tells me (and Joe Kramer, of my post-Second City friendships), "You know, I was one of the first fans of Huey Lewis and the News."

I'm sure I had a confused look on my face because I'd never heard him say this before. And we talk about Huey Lewis and the News a lot. Yes, seriously.

JK: What do you mean? Weren't they a bar band first?
(I shot Joe a look, like "please don't question him.")
Dad: No, I mean I was one of his very first fans. and this other guy. We had their first album, Picture This. We were on a trip and we walked into a Penny's.
JK: Like a JC Penny's?
Dad: Yeah, you could do that back then. We asked the girl there, "What's a good album?" And she said, "Huey Lewis and the News." So, we bought it. And she was right. We listened to that album for the whole trip, for two weeks straight. We wore the tape out.


I'd also like to note that upon first meeting, my dad usually doesn't say much. 
When he met my college friend, Lee:

Lee: Hi, I'm Lee.
Dad: Decent name.

However, he talked in front of Joe a lot last night. It was kind of strange. He talked just slightly less than he was talking before Joe arrived. Maybe the combination of Monday Night Football, Chinese Food and the Champagne of Beers brought it out of him. 

Monday, November 10, 2008

Living situation.

Dad: You know it's kind of funny that I'm here.
Me: Yeah?
Dad: Yeah, it's a little odd.


Today I wore skinny jeans tucked inside my new knee-high black boots.

Dad: Nice boots.
Me: Thanks!
Dad: I didn't mean that.
Me: Right.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Monsters & Farts

While watching Hellboy, Dad says, "Why do monsters have to be slimey? Everythings gotta drip. Can't there be dry bad guys?"

After Huey (my kitten) farts:
Dad: "You know, the average person farts 14 times a day."
Me: "Huh."
Dad: "I heard that on Oprah."

Friday, November 7, 2008

Shoulder Ride.

Last night I sat down to watch Two and A Half Men with my dad. I hate to admit this show cracks me up, but it does. I was telling him about the Obama Rally. 

I said, "Jess climbed up on top of Jeff's shoulders and took pictures of the crowd."
He said, "Huh."
I said, "It was so neat just being there--"
He interrupted with, "Last time I had a girl on my shoulders...she was naked......"
I replied, "Ha!"
Then he said, "Come to think of it, I was naked, too."

Ahh, these are the conversations I have with my dad. No fucking wonder. 

I'm 29 and my dad lives in the basement.

My dad left his wife and came for a visit. That was in July. He hasn't left yet.