Laptop.

Huey knocked over my Macbook this morning. The screen is fucked. I told Dad about this...

Dad: I think that would make me despondent for about 20 minutes.

It's official.

I'm renting a car and moving my dad home to St. Louis on Friday. So, I guess I'll try to get what I can out of him this week. 

Yogurt.

While watching a commercial for Activia.

Dad: What is yogurt? A milk product?

Sad.

I'm a little sad. 

Dad is thinking about moving in with my sister in St. Louis.

Gay.

We were talking about a woman who didn't age so gracefully.

Dad: I'd hit on me before I'd hit on her.

Me: I think that would make you gay.

Mustache.

Dad: I shaved my mustache once. (pause) About 30 years ago. (pause) I think I was in high school.  (long pause) Or maybe it was 7th grade.

Another.

Me: Do you need a beer, Dad?
Dad: No. It's a want.